We are Roman and Bella Tanzer, the married team behind RelationFit. Over 19 years together – and 17 years of marriage – we have shared a wide range of emotions: the exhilaration of welcoming our two children, the adventure of emigrating to the UK to train as Christian ministers, and the challenges of parenting, health struggles, and the devastating loss of unborn children. Coming from very different families, we have faced conflicts that made us feel stuck and grew more painful over time.
In 2019, in a particularly difficult conflict, we had a light bulb moment: we realised we needed to do things differently to get different results. We remembered the work of John Gottman, which Bella had first encountered during her counselling training, and also drew inspiration from Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (NVC), an evidence-informed approach that strengthens empathy and communication. We decided to commit to communicating in a constructive way rather than repeating our old patterns.
Over the last seven years, we have transformed our marriage. With a handful of simple, but powerful relationship habits, we have strengthened our friendship and rekindled the romantic side of our marriage, which had become somewhat flat in the early parenting years. We use straight forward communication tools to transform the way we handle conflict – with each other and with our children. Life is far from perfect, but it has become manageable, joyful, and deeply connected, and we’ve learned that we can be a team while still disagreeing about some things.
As our marriage changed and people started noticing the shift in the way our children communicated, we discovered a passion for supporting other couples in this area. At RelationFit, we explore frameworks, find and use what tools work for our clients, build stronger connections, manage conflict, and create lasting closeness – helping them craft a stronger relationship.
How we work
We work with couples, as a couple, bringing a balanced view, both as professionals but also a married couple ourselves.
Our work is:
- practical and action-focused
- grounded in proven relationship science especially the work of John Gottman and Neuroscience
- focused on building habits that strengthen relationships
“We are not interested in fixing what is broken. We are interested in supporting people to strengthen what is already there and to build tools that will accelerate relationship growth.”
Roman & Bella Tanzer
